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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Watch your kid grow


If lightening blazes in sky, rainbow shows her beauty.. They think its for them.


But this innocence will last for the first 5 or 6 years. After that their world will change to an extent which parents cannot even estimate its boundary. Their thoughts will expand. Their surrounding environment, people, society will show a huge impact on them. That means children will silently slip away from parents’ eyes. Convincing their child so that they can understand easily is a challenge to a parent.



Both physical and mental fitness are important to the kid. Parents play key role how to develop them. Before you teach the moral ethics to your children you should follow it. In present days it’s very sad to say that moral ethics are gradually falling down in their importance. For society to be responsible, first children should be educated from childhood. What is rite and wrong, basic life principles which they learn in early childhood will be carved in their minds lifelong. Children between 9-12 years of age some times break parents trust. It might be regarding grades, small fights, teasing their friends etc. To do rite thing at a rite time is one of the main skill in life. But this point is very weak in present societies. But this requires time both for children and parents. Learn to follow moral ethics along with your children. By this personally, socially and completely your child will be moral fit.





Accept your mistake

We are all humans not gods. We will commit mistakes. Accept them with ease and with your heart. You educate this to your child. They will imitate you, they will follow you. You are their role models.

When you pretend to be ill though you are healthy, when you bribe some one, when you let down others status, don’t forget your child is watching you. You shout at your driver or maid at home at times when your mood is not well. After your anger come down “I should not have done like that” you feel it and when you accept it as a mistake at your child they will learn to accept their mistakes. When you don’t do that kids will feel yelling at driver or maid is correct, justified and natural. So at times when they are in pressure at school they may present their frustration on driver or maid.



Identify their body language

It’s important to educate your children regarding the signs their body shows. Hunger, rapid heart beat which indicates that they are in depression or tension. Children or parents cannot act properly when their physical state is not well. When you shout at some one at this situation don’t hesitate to come outside that place. Have a walk and it will give you relief. Like when you compose a big mail don’t send it as soon as you finish take a deep breath and wait for 5 min then send it.



Not only doing like this let your children know about it. Then your child knows what is depression or pressure and how you act to overcome it.



Don’t help in wrong deeds

When you catch your child doing a wrong thing or cheating, don’t act in such a way that your kid feels better rather make your child feel embarrassed or to regret it. It is the teacher which helps your child. In such situations again, don’t say that you are happy now, tell them that “you took the responsibility for your actions and the impact of your behavior on others”. Experts say that it is more important.



Embarrassment is good

Realizing their mistake is not the enemy of their self confidence. Rather it helps in child’s development. They will know how their actions and deeds will affect themselves and others. At the same time express your feelings too.

For instance if you come know that your kid copied in exam, say that you felt very bad by that. If he/she is not willing to talk with you then approach the person to whom they listen express your feelings through them. If head of school announces this in assembly then ask him/her how they feel. Then they will think the ill effects of all their mistakes and will not dare to do it again.



Tell the importance of family

Some values cannot be compared with any thing. We can’t leave them. We can’t win anything at the cost of values. As a family what values you believe, let them be written by your child like don’t lie, don’t steal, and accept mistakes…. Everything… By this you and your child will understand how the values are important in bonding you and your family. These values will be passed on from generation to generation. The properties like house, money, business may slowly cease but the moral property you give to your children will never.



If your child hurts some one physically or mentally, don’t question them in front of every one. Take your kid to aside and ask the reason behind it. Did they do that willingly or accidentally or without any thought. Ask their meaning behind their action. Question them how do they feel if they are in that position. By doing this though they have done a mistake accidentally they will think about it. They will slowly think whether its correct or not. Saying many a times “what you have done is wrong” is not needed. Asking few questions will make them to think, will create awareness. They will realize rite and wrong. Parents should do that only. By this children will think that their parents are good friends and will maintain healthy relationship.



Group activity will increase children’s moral values. Working in social organizations will generate immense awareness among them. They will not think what is the use for me by doing social welfare activities instead they think that what is the use of them to others by their deeds.



There is no short path to victory

Children will expect quick results and quick actions. Hence they will try to find out shorter paths. So it is important to educate a child, in order to attain higher position in life and achieve milestones it will take few years. Focus on the hard work of your kid. How they are achieving their short term goals. Then they will understand hard work is important not the result. Victory will not come as an avalanche rather as small parts; your child will understand this.

Recognize their good

Concentrating on your child when they commit a mistake is not good. Encourage their good by giving small gifts. Experts say, by doing this children will learn to get through their lives even at the time obstacles. Convey how proud you feel when they do things on their own. By this for certain things to do you need not decide always, they can decide on their own. They will gain their confidence. To make their dreams and thoughts come true they will gain confidence.





Some common mistakes committed by children unknowingly

Though some moral mistakes look small they will grow big without parents’ knowledge



• Children’s activities are uncertain since their brain will not expand completely. They will not think the results of their actions. As soon as a thought comes in their mind they will do it.

• Children have more freedom. At present days kids know more technology than parents. Online values are the new concept. Parents should think and educate about them.

• Many parents think that their children must be perfect in all things. They will forget that it’s not possible. Viewing this demand, child to impress their parents start lying, cheating. Hence parents should not force them beyond the facts

• During financial troubles, taking wrong paths is easy. At these moments parents should hold their hearts strongly

• What ever your kid does, their soul should question them ‘is it rite or wrong’ and they must be able to hear it. “Mom or dad will feel bad if I do this” they must think like this and must be able to correct themselves. How this is possible for your kid is in your hands. You should educate your child to question themselves regarding their actions then they can hear what their soul says!!!!



     

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